Horror Night At Klawla's
by taru taru animegal
Summary: The most horrifying and hilarious crack-fic you will ever read about Organization XIII! the scariest part of all... this is a true story... YAOI ALERT!


A/N: ok… before I begin… I SWEAR TO THE LORD AND ANY OTHER GOD THEIR MIGHT BE that NO REAL or PHYSICAL (as in we could touch it) drugs or alcohol was abused in any way shape or form in the making of this partially-real story!!!

My genetic twin, Klawla, and I were sitting in her room being bored when her parents left on an all night trip. We took this advantage to get out 4 liters of grapefruit soda and mint chocolate chip ice cream. That's when it all went bad… -and this seriously did happen, gosh my stomach hurt in the morning…-

…well, I hope you enjoy our hyper, crazy, and somewhat disturbing story! **WE DO NOT OWN ORGANIZATION XIII OR ANY OTHER KH CHARACTERS THAT MAY APPEAR!!!**

-OMGITSALINEBREAK!-

After 4 liters of grapefruit soda and a bucket of chocolate mint ice cream, Klawla, Kiri, Demyx, Axel, and Riku were all standing around the kitchen laughing their heads off about a joke the red-head had just told. That is until Kiri saw something slithering on the ceiling.

"Ansem, what did I tell you about trying to get Riku!? Go back outside and kill Orochimaru and drag off his corpse again!" (1) Ansem just gave them this sly smile and slid down the cupboards behind Riku. He was going for the grab, when Klawla sent him flying with a punch.

"You don't just tell a bad guy to go away, idiot!" She said to Kiri, fist still in midair. She hadn't noticed that Ansem leapt off the floor like a flying fish hurdling strait back. Kiri took the punch this time, and knocked the slithering man out cold.

No one had noticed when Marluxia came in the room holding what seemed like a bag of rice. He was whispering something to Axel and Demyx.

"Dude, you're not gonna make it." Demyx said. Marluxia just waved his hand.

"It won't be the first time I've done it. Besides, how fast do you think those two bunnies are? They wouldn't able to catch me!" Marluxia seemed confident about whatever he was going to do. Axel, However, Didn't seem too confident with the answer.

"I dunno… what about that one power where…" Axel cut off, looking over at Klawla who was now searching for something.

"He won't be able to hit me with it! I have it all planned." The pink-haired man headed out to the hallway and into the living room without a second thought. There were two figures in the dimly lit room, both lying together on the couch.

Out of nowhere, Marluxia started throwing rice onto the two figures, laughing like Santa Clause chanting "Fertile to the lovers!" The taller looking figure looked up, his eyes glowering evilly at the flower lover.

"Number eleven, if you wish to stay pure for any period of time longer, I would suggest you leave. NOW." The black aura that left the shadowed figure easily penetrated the aura of flowers, which sent Marly running out of the room and down the hall to Klawla's room.

Meanwhile, the twin sisters were still searching for a jar to stuff Ansem's ashes in, finding no luck whatsoever when they saw a blur of pink run down the hallway connecting the living room and kitchen.

"Wasn't that Marly?" Klawla said. Axel and Demyx nodded, looking with fear into the hallway.

"…I'm gonna go see what happened." Demyx said, heading slowly towards the living room before disappearing altogether.

"Do you think he'll be ok?" Klawla asked, worry on her face. Axel went over and hugged her and Kiri rolled her eyes.

"He'll be fine. No matter what happens…" Axel said, the last part under his breath. Kiri caught it, though.

After a good five minutes, Kiri was starting to get impatient. She was in the middle of the hallway when a hand stopped her from going any farther.

" Oh no you don't, I don't want you pulled into whatever is going on in there!" Klawla told her twin. Kiri smiled and made the younger let go. She then peeked a little into the living room…

…only to scream bloody murder and run back into the kitchen looking for tissues.

"What on earth is out there!?" Klawla asked. Kiri had a couple of paper towels and was putting pressure on her nose while tilting her head back.

"Uhh… Klawla… Don't go out there…" She said, blood running down her face.

"Why!? What is going on in my living room!?"

"Klawla… lets just say… with Saix's help, Xemnas is living up to his other name…"

"….you've got to be kidding me… they're doing IT in my living room!?" Klawla was in shock when she saw me nod.

"Demyx is in between them…" She didn't have to say anything more when Klawla's jaw hit the floor. She then whimpered in what sounded like fear.

Her look just got worse when Kiri decided to look around the corner again.

"HAVE YOU GONE NUTS!?" she loudly whispered. Kiri decided to peek once again when a loud voice boomed through the house.

"Klawla and Kiri, if you peek around that corner again you will wind up just like your little friend." They ran down the hall with Axel so fast you couldn't even hear them when they screamed.

They were panting while trying to breathe, fake tears rolling down Klawla's cheeks. Kiri was just lying on the bed while Axel made his way over to the window.

"Here, Ansem." He called, letting out the snake man still slithering around the house. He crawled over the ledge and out into the snow.

At the other end of the room, Klawla noticed something pink and curly underneath her bed. With one quick tug a pink haired orgination member with a horrified look on his face came twirling out.

"What do you think your doing!? If I don't hide, they'll find me!" As if on cue, a black portal opened up out of nowhere and out popped the scariest sight a fourteen year old with a mental capacity of seven could see.

"Good to see your still here, Marly. Wouldn't want you to miss out on all the fun…" Kiri shielded her sisters' eyes as she turned around with a nosebleed. Saix had come looking for Marluxia… in the nude…

The twins sat on the bed with their eyes to the wall as they heard Marluxia scream for help. Kiri turned around in time to see the pink heads coat strewn all down the hallway and a flood of cartoon tears flooding the area. Klawla, However, was still shaking.

"I think it's probably safer downstairs…" Klawla said looking out the door in the direction the two had walked in. Kiri agreed, and they headed downstairs into the family room.

Axel, Kiri, and Klawla deemed it safe to watch T.V. for a while, and so the newest episode of Pokemon was played. That is until everyone got thirsty…

"Kiri, you know where the soda is! Why don't you go get it!?" asked Klawla, irritated that she couldn't watch her show. Kiri sighed in defeat. Fighting with that girl was like wrestling a wild wolf.

The elder of the twins walked into the room across the hall and was going to open the door when she heard noises coming from the food storage. Her eyes widened and she sped out of there like a lightening bolt.

"Klawla! T-Therse. A. SOMETHING! And. MOANED!!!" Kiri said in a rushed panic. Klawla's eyes widened.

"You… think they could've come downstairs while we weren't watching?" She asked; an audible gulp rang through the room.

"I don't know… but I'm not going in that room alone!!!" Kiri grabbed her sister by the arm and tugged her until they were in front of the horrid noise making room. Klawla whined in frustration as her sister made the first move to open the door.

…The first thing that was seen was twelve empty sake bottles. They were rolling around on their sides as what looked like feet kicked against them. The second thing found was a pile of clothes sitting on the floor behind the bottles of Sake. The third… and most astonishing… was the two people rolling around on the floor with even more sake in their hands.

Kiri shut the door and the two made a bolt for it. When they found the carpet, they army crawled back up the stairs and stared at each other in horror…

"WHAT THE HELL WAS XIGBAR AND XALDIN DOING IN MY FOOD STORAGE!?" Klawla was on the verge of a heart attack by this time. Kiri was too, but she kept her cool.

"I dunno… but…" Realization dawned on Kiri that they were missing a third and fourth party member. "Where the hell are Riku and Axel!?"

"OH SHIZ!!!" Klawla bolted through the dining room and kitchen before trying to make a scene in the living room. Kiri took a minute, but it finally clicked in her head the event that took place and she bolted down the same path the younger did.

Kiri ran into the living room just in time to save Klawla from a horrible fate. The elder grabbed Klawla and held onto the side of the wall for dear life.

"YOU IDIOT!!!" Kiri cried, scraping the paint off the wall in a desperate attempt to keep her sister alive. Klawla was already in tears again. Finally, the shadowed figure in the living room let go and sent three teens catapulting down the hall.

Kiri was going to pull the sick lovebirds into Klawla's parents' bedroom, until she opened the door and saw two figures, one with blonde hair, one with purplish sliver, lying on the bed wrapped in the covers. Kiri took a nose dive and went into the other bedroom.

The elder sibling sat down the two and looked at Axel with pity. He looked like he was just trampled on by millions of fangirls, whereas Klawla had hardly a scratch. Speaking of which, she had just woken up.

"You ok?" Kiri asked with a bored tone. Klawla rolled her eyes.

"Yes I just nearly got sandwiched between four naked guys who are going at it like bunnies and I'm perfectly fine. WHAT DO YOU THINK!?" Klawla was definitely hyperventilating by now.

"Breathe, Klawla. Oh, and don't go into your parents room. Roxas and Zexion are in there." Klawla whip lashed her head back at Kiri and had confusion definitely evident.

"What are they doing in there!?"

"Turning each other into heartless…" Kiri said, looking back over to Axel. Klawla's expression just worsened.

"Do I even want to know?"

"Not really." Just then the familiar feeling of a black portal opening fell in the room and we immediately looked in the other direction of the feeling. Then the familiar chuckling started.

"You girls had a feeble attempt at trying to take away the superior's play toys, but I shall be taking him back now." And with that, the twins turned only to see that there was yet again a missing red head.

"AXEL!!!!" Klawla cried, holding onto Kiri. Kiri rose her eyebrow while staring at the girl.

"There there… he's dead meat…" Kiri said to herself. Suddenly, she was pushed back on the bed with Klawla looking to the door in a panic.

"HURRY!!! WE HAVE TO WRITE A NOTE TO SORA!!! TO THE KITCHEN!!!" Klawla hurried to open the door to her room… and quickly shut it again, a blush on her face.

"Umm… you lead…" Kiri sighed and took Klawla by the hand, who immediately shut her eyes as the door opened. Kiri looked down then away at the sight.

"You couldn't have told me that Marluxia was nude and passed out in front of your door!?" Deeming it as a rhetorical question, Kiri lead Klawla on tip toes around the sleeping man.

Once they were clear of him, they split up to look for paper and pencil. Kiri went for the nearby closet… and surprisingly found a fully dressed, thank the lord, Luxord in there with a deck of cards in his hands.

"Thanks, mate. I've been locked in here for hours. Now to go join the party." Kiri watched with disgust as the blonde man headed into the living room. Gloom was next as she headed back into the kitchen.

"dear god, whats next…" she said as she took a seat next to Klawla, who had the paper and pen all ready to go.

"Ok… here we go…"

The note said:

_**S.O.V!!!**_

_Sora,_

_We have been abducted by Orgination XIII!!! They are doing unspeakable things and we are afraid that we are next!!! PLEASE HURRY AND SAVE OUR VIRGINITIES!!!_

_Signed,_

_Klawla and Kiri_

"That's great. Now how are we gonna get it there?" Kiri asked getting some of the leftover grapefruit soda and drinking it. Klawla had to think about it for a little bit for coming up with a brilliant and cunning plan.

She took the note and made it into a paper airplane, heading towards the glass sliding doors.

"FLY!!!" She said, throwing it out the doors only for it to fly about two feet. Just then, Lexaeus appeared in front of us like a lightning bolt and gave Klawla the note before heading back up on the roof.

"Wh… WHAT IS LEXAEUS DOING ON THE ROOF!?" Klawla had the gloomy aura around her as she started to eat the note.

"Why are you eating paper?" Kiri wandered back into the kitchen and looked at a wooden cupboard that looked big enough to fit a person.

"What else could happen tonight!?" The younger one took a seat at the island as a black storm cloud loomed overhead.

"I wonder…. Klawla, do you think Vexen could be in that cupboard?" she pointed to said wooden cupboard and Klawla fell out of her chair.

"There is no possible way he could fit in there! It looks bigger on the outside then it really is." Klawla saw the look of disbelief on Kiri's face, sighed, and walked over to the cupboard to open it up.

"See! I told you there was nothing… in… heee WHAT THE!?" Sure enough, Vexen was crammed in the middle shelf of the cupboard doing his chemical expiraments. He waved as Klawla slammed it shut.

"That's it, I've completely gone crazy." Klawla said, her last hair of sanity about to be cut. And Kiri was the one to cut it.

"Well, I dunno about you… but I wanna go play poker and beat Luxord at his own game." Klawla, horror struck, grabbed Kiri and pulled her down the hallway and into the bathroom.

"You have lost your mind!!!" Klawla was having a panic attack and Kiri was pulling something out of the drawer. It looked like… A LIQUIR BOTTLE!?

"It's just soda. Besides, I'm tired of running." Kiri left the bathroom and headed for the cursed living room, leaving Klawla to be curled up in a ball.

Ten minutes after continuously beating Luxord at his own game while drinking soda, Kiri decided it was time to check in on her mentally seven-year-old sister. She walked down the hallway and opened the bathroom door. Klawla walked out of the room with no emotion and headed into the pitch black living room. She layed herself on the couch and spread her legs wide.

"I will not fight anymore. They can take me." Kiri gave her a questioning look before sitting on the other side of the couch. It was then that everything ended. Klawla's brother had come home, and they had fallen into a deep sleep.

-OMGITSFINALLYALINEBREAK!-

a few weeks later, Kiri was over at Klawla's house again while her parents were out running errands. It all started when Vexen was back in the cupboard…

"DEAR LORD, JUST TAKE ME NOW!!!!" Were Klawla's last words as the night of terror started all over again.

-OWARI!-

A/N:…and yes, that really did happen… (Well, to a certain extent, but everyone has imaginations…) if Klawla knew that I was posting this, she would murder me in my sleep. OH! And just to freak everyone out more, this only happened… in November of 2008. scary, ne?

Well, review if you liked it, or have gone clinically insane. I would like to know how it was!!!


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